If he was in my command I would have simply called it a asymmetrical combat orbit pattern practice run that occurred during a unique atmospheric condition that allowed a jet trail to develop. Unfortunately certain more basers members of the general public interpreted these jet trails as a penis. Since the Navy is not in the business of enforcing morality among the general public there is nothing the Navy can do about it.
Then once the press dies away I would give the pilot a toothbrush and tell clean the runway with it.
First rule of command is you have protect your men no matter what dumbass thing they do.
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