The real reason--Steve eventually explained it--was that Steve was trying to fend off the worst panic attack of his life, about the safety of their five children. He was diligently counting his strokes so he could stop his mind from thinking about a nightmare he'd had the night before in which he failed to keep his kids safe in the water. He hadn't responded to Brown's vulnerable statements because he actually hadn't heard them--he was lost in thought, lost in counting strokes to escape those thoughts of failing his family when they needed him to be a superhero.
In short, he and Brown had entered what Brown calls "a perfect shame storm." Brown filled their void of non-communication with shame triggers relating to body image. Steve filled the void with shame triggers relating to the appearance of weakness--a man who can't be "the almighty fixer of all things," Brown said.
'via Blog this'