As
she puts it, parenthood is “the last binding obligation in a culture
that asks for almost no other permanent commitments at all.” In this
sense, it isn’t necessarily that family life has changed that
dramatically in the last few generations. Rather, it’s stayed the same
in crucial ways — because babies still need what babies need — while
outside the domestic sphere there’s been an expansion of opportunities, a
proliferation of choices and entertainments and immediately available
gratifications, that make child rearing seem much more burdensome by
comparison.
she puts it, parenthood is “the last binding obligation in a culture
that asks for almost no other permanent commitments at all.” In this
sense, it isn’t necessarily that family life has changed that
dramatically in the last few generations. Rather, it’s stayed the same
in crucial ways — because babies still need what babies need — while
outside the domestic sphere there’s been an expansion of opportunities, a
proliferation of choices and entertainments and immediately available
gratifications, that make child rearing seem much more burdensome by
comparison.
This
has two consequences for young, reasonably affluent Americans. First,
it creates an understandable reluctance to give up the pleasures of
extended brunches and long happy hours, late nights and weekend
getaways, endless hours playing Grand Theft Auto or binge-watching “New
Girl.” Second, it inspires a ferocious shock when a child arrives and
that oh-so-modern lifestyle gives way to challenges that seem almost
medieval, and duties that seem impossibly absolute. And the longer the
arrival is delayed, the greater that shock — because “postponing
children,” Senior points out, can make parents “far more aware of the
freedoms they’re giving up.”
has two consequences for young, reasonably affluent Americans. First,
it creates an understandable reluctance to give up the pleasures of
extended brunches and long happy hours, late nights and weekend
getaways, endless hours playing Grand Theft Auto or binge-watching “New
Girl.” Second, it inspires a ferocious shock when a child arrives and
that oh-so-modern lifestyle gives way to challenges that seem almost
medieval, and duties that seem impossibly absolute. And the longer the
arrival is delayed, the greater that shock — because “postponing
children,” Senior points out, can make parents “far more aware of the
freedoms they’re giving up.”
“Welcome,”
a colleague emailed me after our first daughter was born, “to
unavoidable reality.” Which is exactly right: In parts of American
society, death and children’s diapers are the only unavoidable realities
left.
a colleague emailed me after our first daughter was born, “to
unavoidable reality.” Which is exactly right: In parts of American
society, death and children’s diapers are the only unavoidable realities
left.