LaTuFu comments on What's the most common mistake people make when choosing their spouse?: "Date to establish trust. Time is actually your friend, not your enemy. Do not ignore ANY red flag you see in a relationship. Examine it for what it is, then determine if it is something you can work through with the other person, or is it something they refuse to acknowledge or deal with? If you're dating someone who is selfish and they refuse to see it, they will not magically become unselfish because you were kind enough to marry them. Red Flags ignored in dating will become the rocks upon which your marriage boat smashes in the coming storms. If there are multiple red flags and they won't talk to you about any of them, walk away. It doesn't matter if you've already moved in, share the bank account, the dog, and a car. Get out now. If they're not willing to work on things that impact the security of a relationship today, you can count on them not working on them after you get married.
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