12 December, 2013

What it’s like to take and withdraw from morphine | Addiction Blog

What it’s like to take and withdraw from morphine | Addiction Blog:
I slip off the tourniquet and slowly press the plunger fully in; the drug goes in easily, no sense of resistance that might suggest the vein wasn’t patent.

I need to act quickly now to prepare for the rush, to experience it fully; I don’t want any outside stimuli which might interfere with the consummation. My movements are practiced; I whip out the needle, and throw the syringe away, I’ll pick it up later, I’ve no time to set it aside carefully. I press my left hand firmly on the site with a dark red paper tissue. A white tissue would show up the blood too obviously and might turn up somewhere inconvenient and hard to explain away. The firm pressure will restrict localized bruising and make the injection site less easy to spot, if someone was looking for it. There will inevitably be a mark of some sort, but I hope nothing too obvious, and as everything has gone smoothly it should clear up in a few days. Firm pressure will also help keep the vein patent for future use, so I’ll keep the pressure on even during the rush.

I take off my glasses, switch off the light, lie back and close my eyes. Alone in the dark, in my own little bubble, no light, no noise, I wait.

Within seconds, I feel the rush coming on, firstly a tingle coming up my right arm, then a wonderful warm tidal wave stroking my whole skin, my whole body; it seems to find a centre deep within my chest. I try to savour each moment, each instant, but just as quickly as it comes it is gone; that’s it, done, all over, it lasted a few breaths at most.